for that one person: thoughts of pain; of promises; of love; of betrayal; of hope...

i will never "kiss" someone I don't love; won't make confusion and problems as escape; worst, being drunk as a license to being weak. not even kindness, sympathy and understanding shown by a new "friend" during my vulnerable moments will succeed, for i know these are deeds done for concealed motives. you'll always be aware that if a person is too much for comfort. a friendly tap versus a romantic attempt. you know the difference. at the first sign of it, the least you could do is to spare a space-- discipline. you don't nurture forshadowed betrayal. how do you measure a break-up? do you rely on words said and anger felt during those trying moments? clearly this is equivocal and immeasurable. it maybe just saying "i'm tired" and "i'm done" with you for others. but for me it should be the time when you are smiling towards each other feeling fine that no one was denied of chances and treated unfairly. that points were proven based on facts, not on emotions. that all you feel is respect and gratitude that the road you have taken is directed to mutual happiness and not just of one. what's sorry for? for some, it's to comfort their conscience, or to free themselves from guilt. but would it matter when all you need is an action that indeed, that one person is really sorry-- beyond plain and simple acceptance. do you let pain overcome your willingness to save everything and be true to your promise? i won't. relationships do not rely on fortune, nor destiny. it's something you work on. you sacrifice for it because once you're in it, you don't condsider yourself an individual, but a complete person, pushing all limits to teach two hearts and minds resonate sonorously as one. ironically, it is as rare as a cliche. it's always said but almost everyone fails to achieve. the ultimate pain i had to accept is having to doubt what i thought was unquestionable, and knowing that it was true all along. still, these may not measure love absolutely nor box its essence, but a vivid identity of respect and strength of character. ask me if i fell out of love-- never. i will continue to feel the pain and be numb, hoping that one person will love me back until it hurst no more. :'(

i thought that ONE person is different. that's what i thought. amidst all these, i'm firm that i want that one person to be my last.

i was just trying to think out loud.